What do We say after We say "Apa Kabar ?"
> By : Myra Sidharta <
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What do We say after We say "Apa Kabar ?" |
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> By : Myra Sidharta < |
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When I was in the Netherlands last month, people were still talking about the heat wave they had experienced the month before. When I went to the Saturday open air market, I had to listen to the same story of the temperature that had hit the 40 degrees, over and over again at every stand: the fish-seller, the butcher, the diary man and even the Vietnamese who sold lumpia (egg rolls). I may have done the same if I had lived there, because or most Dutch people, the sentence said in a happy tone: "Isn't the weather nice?", or the one expressed in a grumpy tone: "Huh, terrible weather!" have become national greetings. The weather is a nice topic to talk about in the Netherlands, because it seems to be only thing that is unpredictable. The trains and other public transportation arrive in time at the exact spot where people are waiting. The first class stops at a certain point and the second class follows suit. Nothing is left to chance. Their airline is known for its punctuality. Their land is divided into precise rectangles and the tulips that are grown there look like carpets of solid colors: yellow, red, or white. No yellow tulip would dare to stray into the red boxes and no white tulip would dare to trespass in the yellow boxes. But the weather, well that's different. Even the weather forecast are not exactly right every time. And that is why the orderly Dutch have chosen it as a favorite topic to start a conversation. And what do Indonesians say after they say: "Selamat pagi" or "Apa kabar?" Actually there is a lot to talk about. In recent years the traffic jams may have become a favorite topic, because after you say Apa kabar you may have to explain why you are not in time. You tell how terrible the traffic was, how the cars were stuck at a junction and how you finally manage to get out. Or sometimes you may have to apologize to arrive early because the ride went so smooth! The tragic death of Princess Diana and the passing of Mother Theresa too may be favorite topics. The first one may be still be spiced with gossips that the poor Princess already had to endure during her life time. Especially now that a new biography is written allegedly from an interview with her. Even the drought and the haze may be topics to talk about, for these two phenomena had made the front page in newspaper in the US and Europe. Yet our ladies seem to have only one favorite sentence to say when they meet each other. I was at a wedding reception when I saw a group ladies greeting one lady with hugs and kisses. This lady had just come back from a trip to Europe including a cruise in the Black Sea. She was wearing a smashing new dress and also new jewelry , obviously from Paris. Did the ladies ask about the trip? Did they admire the drss or the jewelry? No, I heard ibu Aida saying: "I can see that you have enjoyed your holiday, you are fatter now!" and turning to another, she asked for approval of her judgement. "Yes," ibu Nani joined in, "She certainly has gained weight!" "Did you?" ask ibu Aida again, insistently, hoping to get a positive answer. "Well, in fact, I didn't," the lady said. I just weighed myself and I actually lost weight." "Oh, impossible, you look so well, so fresh and healthy!" I looked on amused, I am used to this kind of remarks and was happy that I was not the victim that time. Unwittingly these ladies are acting out their aggression. The victim has no possibility to escape. You may be dressed according to the latest fashion, you may be wearing Bulgari's jewellery and Escada's latest design, but you are fat (gemuk) and that' s it. But my Dutch friend had run away to a corner and I saw that she was in a fit of laughter. "What's wrong," I wondered, "They were just praising each other for their good health, they are rich and therefore, they must show that their husbands feed them well!" "I know," my friend said, " But I could not help feeling like I was in a farmer's market and listening to farmers are appraising their cattle." |
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